Not weighing in at home has been ridiculously easy after I had an epiphany a couple of days ago. When I woke up as soon as I got out of bed I just felt really slim. My first instinct was to get on the scales to see if it was ‘true’. Then I said to myself ‘hold up brain, just hold up. Think about what you are saying’. My mission, as a Slimming World member, is to feel slimmer. To look in the mirror and see a slimmer self looking back. Well, mission accomplished! I felt good. WHY OH WHY would I need the scales to verify that? It is so glaringly obvious that I can’t believe I never thought about it that way before. Hopefully this is signifying a turning point in obsessive weighing behaviour.
Today has been pretty great. For the last 24 hours I’ve just felt super duper awesomely fantastic! Whilst talking to someone in a Facebook group I’m a member of, I learned a new phrase – up at sparrow fart. To begin with I thought it was an auto correction, but no, it’s an actual military phrase! It is used to express the utter disgust at being up early enough to watch the sparrows waking up, stretching, farting, scratching themselves etc. In the interest of science I would just like to point out that sparrows don’t fart, or at least parrotlets don’t so I’m assuming sparrows don’t either. When I got Pea I looked it up because I was curious. Something to do with food passing through too quickly to create gas… But I had a good old chuckle at the thought regardless! I shall now be integrating that phrase into my everyday vocabulary.
Yesterday I went for a top up shop at Tesco and whilst I was there I picked up some fluffy little Easter chicks. I love Easter, and not because of chocolate or Jeebus or anything like that, but because of spring and rebirth. It’s such a fantastic time of year, and the shops are full of cute stuff. So obviously I had a have a little photo shoot.
What a perfect little model I’ve got.
Today’s endeavours have so far been much scarier. I may have mentioned it before but I’ve wanted to create a YouTube channel documenting my Slimming World adventure for a wee bit now. In the last couple of weeks I have come across so many inspiring people. You know when Slimming World talk about their groups being warm and friendly and supportive? Well these people I’ve been watching are living and breathing that philosophy. They are just an amazing bunch of people. It felt a little weird that so many people are sharing so much of themselves with me and I wasn’t contributing anything that I finally bit the bullet and managed to get a video recorded that I was reasonably happy with, or at least one where I was audible. Turns out it’s incredibly hard to talk normally in front of a camera, my throat just felt really constricted.
Now it’s out there in the ether I can start panicking about what abuse I’m going to get. Years ago a friend of mine took video of me attempting to play the drums and he uploaded it to YouTube. When I stumbled across it accidentally one day I was mortified to find that people had commented on it saying they thought I was a man, and they also seemed compelled to tell me how fat I am. Like I never knew! So I am preparing myself for some hate, but what the hell. I’m not letting the trolls hold me back. What I do hope is that no one I know at work comes across it, the same thing that I hope for this blog, as their negativity and cruelty seemingly knows no bounds. If it does happen though, I will find a way to deal with it because I’m not going to live a smaller life (pun intended) for the sake of people like that. Or any people for that matter.
As such, here it is!
Utterly terrifying, but nothing worth doing was ever easy, right? I have much to learn about editing a whatnot, plus I need to learn how to stop saying ‘erm’ and ‘so’, but that will come in time. I did spend an inordinate time getting the damn thing to upload so I’m quite behind, therefore I must leave it there for today.
Thanks for reading,