Challenge Accepted

After I’d finished my blog post yesterday I went downstairs to start on dinner, just as my brother arrived home from work. I’d barely had a chance to say hello before he just blurted it out- ‘Hayley, do you want to climb Mount Snowdon?’ Well actually yes, I really do! How strange that only 10 minutes or so previously I’d been wondering what my next adventure was, and there it is just handed to me out of the blue. Me and my brother often have vague plans of doing this or doing that, but most of them never come to fruition. This one though, we’re actually doing. I sent a text to my sister to organise bird-sitting and we confirmed a date. The last weekend of May. I really hope the weather is acceptable enough to safely scale the mountain. Other than that I don’t care what it’s like. Reading back on what I’ve written so far, it does sound a bit impressive, but Mount Snowdon is really not that high. High enough but not, like, real mountain high. We’re going to visit a few other ‘high places’ before we go and make sure we are fully prepared for the task at hand, and also we will make sure we have all the right clothing and supplies. Although it sounds perfectly doable it’s not something I’m taking lightly and we will do thorough research before we set off. This is one of the high places we have visited previously- Ivinghoe Beacon. That was last year and also the most active day my Fitbit has recorded to date. Despite me being at work the night before I did 12.5 miles! However, Ivinghoe Beacon is 233m above sea level whereas Mount Snowdon is over 1000. It’s exciting though, isn’t it!

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Ivinghoe Beacon, April 2016

I think if I had to sum up how I feel lately the answer would be moody. Obviously I’m eagerly anticipating the upcoming adventure but this weekend I have felt really down and I haven’t been able to shake it off. I’m pretty sure it’s because of this meeting I have tonight, and I can’t believe I’ve let it get to me this much. I’ve done all I can to sleep as much as possible because when I’m sleeping, I’m not thinking. I am however having anxiety nightmares. This morning I relived my driving test, only this time there was an evil giant thrown into the mix. Thanks for that one subconscious. I know I’ve gone about this all the wrong way. Because I’ve barely moved my Fitbit probably thinks I’ve died, and I feel terribly guilty for letting my sister down. She invited me to another Workweek Hustle challenge but she’s now about 20,000 steps in front of me. That’s not a challenge, it’s a walkover. I also know that if I was more active I’d probably feel a bit better, but still I haven’t made much of an effort to get moving.

At work tonight once the meeting is done I’ll be forced into activity and hopefully then I’ll lighten up. In the meantime I did something else I probably shouldn’t have, and that’s skip Image Therapy. The problem is, it’s taster night, and try as I might I do not enjoy these sessions in the slightest. I’m in two minds about what to do in the future. Do I keep trying to see if they grow on me or do I just accept that this is not who I am? Trying to like them is probably as much use as trying to like the music of Justin Bieber. It just ain’t gonna happen! Apart from the fact that I just didn’t want to stay, I also couldn’t find the will to make any food, and I didn’t have it in me to make small talk. In fact I hardly want to talk at all these last few days. When I feel like this I need the structure of an ordinary group session and can’t just be left to my own devices. On the plus side I did still weigh in and I did walk to and from group, even though I swear I could hear the car calling my name.

I may have let my exercise slide for a few days, but there’s one thing I absolutely haven’t allowed myself to mess up – my food. I have stayed 100% on plan this week and as a result I lost 2 lbs and got my 3.5 st award! 


Group was absolutely rammed today and so noisy, so I am glad I didn’t stay just this once. At the moment my thoughts are so loud I need quiet just so I can cope with what’s going on in my brain. 

Ending this post on a positive note, I had a lovely phone conversation with my old manager and friend (probably the best of either I’ve ever had) who offered me some wonderful advice, put some fears to rest, and invited me to come and visit him in April which I’m very much looking forward to. 

No matter how moody I get, it’s never all bad.

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x 

 

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