Last night at work was just terrible. See, this is why I hate doing the job I have been forced to do. I have to make decisions as to where in the warehouse the forklift drivers work even though it’s the manager’s job, and I try to keep everyone happy, but it’s just not possible. I upset someone because he got too cold where he was working but instead of having it out with me he’s just been really nasty. To my face he completely blanks me and won’t even make eye contact but if other people are present he says comments that I know are directed at me and they are really below the belt. And there was me thinking we were actually friends! I don’t get paid any extra for having people treat me like crap for things that aren’t my fault (such as one area of the warehouse being busier than the other, and the fact that it is WINTER), and I’m not the sort of person who can just let go of it. I’m torn between wanting to cry and wanting to scream at him for acting like a bloody baby, and I can’t stop going over it in my mind. When I got in from work this morning I stood frozen in the middle of the kitchen and tried to justify to myself why I should just turn around, get in the car and buy the biggest bar of Galaxy chocolate the supermarket sells. But I didn’t. I already feel like I may struggle with a loss this week so eating rubbish will just guarantee something that’s probably just in my head right now. So I had my breakfast early (I usually go to bed first thing in the morning then have it when I get up) then went to sleep as quickly as possible to avoid any more tempting thoughts. What I don’t understand, please explain it to me brain, is why stuff like this makes us hungry? How does that make any sense whatsoever? I can only come to the conclusion that my brain is stupid, therefore I will be ignoring its suggestion that we go and bury our face in a Tesco Finest coffee and walnut cake. Stupid brain, what do you know?
Trying to focus on the positives, I’m back driving my forklift for the rest of the week. That means I will get more steps at work and I can just keep my head down and not have to talk to the mean people. Also, starting at the end of the month I’ve volunteered to do my rotation on another department for four weeks. We all have to do it at some point, but I’d rather do mine now. The reason for this is that it’s fairly quiet at work so it’s a good time to do it, it’s more physical so I get more exercise, it’s not going to be too hot (doing it in the summer is just awful) and if it’s my decision rather than someone forcing me to do it I just feel a lot better about it. And a change is a good as a rest.
Right now I’m running out of hours in the day again because I slept for too long, but I’m going to have a little sort out in my room because that always helps me get my thoughts in order. I have a few pairs of jeans to get rid of that are too big for me now so I might as well see what else I can purge from the wardrobe. Oh and I need to squeeze in a kettlebell workout before I leave for work too. At least I’m keeping busy!
Thanks for reading,