Yesterday I weighed in on my home scales at 10am, as I have done for the last couple of months. I was exceptionally relieved to see that I’d lost a pound. After my birthday naughtiness I was really worried that I hadn’t done enough to pull it back.
Then the postie came, and as I been hoping my voucher to ditch my online membership and rejoin group arrived in time for the Tuesday evening session.
had have a mountain of chores to get done but I’ve been having a terrible case of ‘can’t be arsed’ so I left it and went back to bed in readiness for the evening.
For group I decided to wear my new size 14 sweater-dress that my mum bought me, and since it’s quite a warm item of clothing I made the decision to leave the house without a coat. Whatever decision I make with regards to outerwear just lately it’s the wrong one and I nearly froze certain feminine parts off. I also probably walked faster than I ever have before in an effort to keep warm, so at least something good came out of it.
Group was the same as it’s ever been. Although I’d already told my consultant that I was coming back I’m not entirely sure she believed me, so it was nice to see the look on her face. I was showered with compliments by the regulars who I remember from before, which makes me happy but also REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE because I still haven’t learned quite how to respond to people being nice. Practice makes perfect though.
Thankfully because it’s not been long since I last attended group I was able to keep all of my weight loss history and all the social team had to do was duplicate my card and give me a new book. When it came to IMAGE therapy I was given my 6.5 stone award and told that I’d lost 11 lbs since the last time I was there. It doesn’t sound like a huge amount, but I’ve noticed more changes in myself with that 11 lbs than I have in the last 3 stone!
According to the Slimming World scales, which always did weigh a little lighter to my own, this week I’ve lost 2.5 lbs. I know it’s not a true 2.5 lbs, but then when I first started weighing on my own scales I took the hit then and now I’m just getting that pound-and-a-half back, if that makes any sense at all.
That means my total loss is 6 stone 13 pounds and I’m only ONE POUND away from my 7 stone award. All being well I should have that in the bag next week. It also means that at 14 stone 5 pounds I’ve smashed my lowest Slimming World weight record and I’m now covering beautiful, fresh ground!
Going back to group was a lovely boost and for a while I felt refocused and positive, but today I’ve had some irritating little doubts swimming around my head. For one thing when I got home this morning my brother was up early eating breakfast and the house was filled with the smell of buttery toast. I haven’t been having cravings lately but seriously, that smell tested me to the limit. I had two Linda McCartney red onion and rosemary sausages in the fridge, which I was saving for tonight’s work lunch, but I ate them there and then to curb the urge to eat toast.
Then I started beating myself up for it, because in my mind I ate them for the wrong reason. I wasn’t genuinely hungry (although my hunger levels have been on the up this week) and I didn’t have any speed food with them.
In the big scheme of things this is nothing, but I felt bad all the same. Then I started telling myself that the result on the scales was just a fluke and that I’m going to balls it all up and everything’s a mess (literally, once I’ve finished this post I really need to get cracking on those chores).
When I woke up after my morning sleep I had a little check on the scales – at the moment they very nearly corroborate with the Slimming World ones so it wasn’t a fluke, and I can breathe a sigh of relief. I need to calm down and trust the plan. I’ve been following it for a year, I’ve nearly lost 7 stone, and I know it damn well works!
It’s mad that after all this time I still have these doubts.
An excellent thing about being back at group this time of year is that I managed to get my hands on one of the sparkly baubles. I saw that some people already had them on Instagram and I didn’t want to miss out.
As you know I want to be in the 13 stone bracket by the 19th of December, but my plan is now cemented in place on my bauble so that makes it properly official. I have 9 weigh-ins and 5.5 pounds to go, so let’s see if I can smash that goal to pieces and create a little wiggle room for Christmas Day.
I still have plenty of niggling doubts, but I will stick to plan no matter what. Seeing that little number 13 is just way too important to me to mess it all up now.
Thanks for reading,